1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,298 Dude, I'm not gonna read this bullshit. Just get me a Coors. 2 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,592 "What do I think my greatest strength as a server is?" 3 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:09,885 What the hell is this, Frank? 4 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,345 Employee evaluation. 5 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,681 This bar is a business, and we're gonna start acting like one. 6 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,308 I do not want to start acting like a business 7 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,894 because that sounds boring as shit. 8 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,896 Yeah, that sounds terrible. Plus this thing's 10 pages long. 9 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,898 You know what? I'm not gonna fill it out. 10 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,067 - Well, that's gonna affect your rank. - What rank? 11 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,777 I put us all on a ranking system 12 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,321 so you kids would care about your jobs. 13 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,948 - Are we ranked now? - Yes, we are. 14 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,075 - What's my rank? - Second, after me. 15 00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:35,118 - Wait! What's my rank? - You're third. 16 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,246 What? Why am I third? 17 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:40,415 - Too volatile. - Bullshit! That is bullshit! 18 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,252 - Okay, okay. What am I? - You're fifth. 19 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,462 Fifth? That's last. Why in the hell would I be last? 20 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,464 Too much lip and very sassy. 21 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,508 Sassy? That doesn't make sense. 22 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,968 Like right now. You just don't know when to shut up. 23 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,052 Hello! 24 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,012 You are late. 25 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,348 What if I told you I just signed the bar up to host a dance competition 26 00:00:56,431 --> 00:01:01,103 that's gonna be hosted live by the Q Crew on 102 Radio! 27 00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:03,438 Whoa! The Q Crew! Good work! 28 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:07,317 Oh, yeah, yeah. That would be a good idea, except it's not a dance contest. 29 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,903 - It's a dance marathon. - What's the point? 30 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,196 It's an endurance competition. 31 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,116 I guess we're gonna be enduring free promotion on the radio. 32 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,076 Yeah. "Location, Paddy's Bar. 33 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,954 "Time, Saturday. Date, With Charlie Kelly. 34 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,456 "Prize, Paddy's Pub"? 35 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,584 Whoa! Wait a minute! You put the bar up as a prize? 36 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,879 No, no. I put the bar under the "Pride" section, things that you're proud of. 37 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,256 It's a "Z," Charlie! Prize! 38 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,967 - Didn't you read that goddamn thing? - I gave it a once-over! 39 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,927 Your illiteracy has screwed us again, Charlie! 40 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,345 Your illiteracy is screwing us! 41 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,222 That doesn't make any sense! 42 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,307 I have an important question. 43 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:40,809 Does this make Charlie number five and I'm number four? 44 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,269 Because in light of this new information… 45 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,353 Dee! Shut up! 46 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,731 Stop with the sass! This is what Frank is talking about! 47 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:46,857 You never know when to shut up. 48 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,693 - Maybe this thing isn't legal. - No, it's legal. There was a lawyer there. 49 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,028 He stamped it and everything. 50 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,781 - What are we gonna do now? - We're gonna dance our asses off! 51 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,863 Hey, everybody. 52 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,950 DJ Squirrely D and Fat Michael here from Q102. 53 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,034 The Q Crew. 54 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,078 Coming to you live from Paddy's Pub! 55 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,413 Kicking off our old-time dance marathon. 56 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,708 Where the owners have put up their bar as the first prize. 57 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,002 Hey, how about a quick recap of the rules for our listeners 58 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,546 who just tuned in. Fat Michael! 59 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,632 All dancers must remain on their feet and dancing at all times. 60 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,176 If you drop to the floor, you are out. 61 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,136 - People, this could take hours. - It could take days. 62 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,640 It could take weeks. So stay tuned, 'cause someone's gonna win a bar! 63 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,268 - But only right here on Q102. - The Q Crew! 64 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,854 Good job, Charlie. Good work. 65 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,856 Take it easy, man, and enjoy yourself, 66 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,650 'cause I'm gonna win this thing with this right here! 67 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,111 - What the hell is that? - Eighth grade dance competition, buddy. 68 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,612 I won to this song. 69 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,364 It's an endurance competition, Charlie. 70 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,908 We're not gonna win the bar back with some dance you did in 1989. 71 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,327 They don't care if you can dance well. It's a marathon. 72 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,496 - Whoo! What's up, assholes? - Ooh! 73 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,082 - What the hell you doing here? - I'm here to win your bar. 74 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,251 Ooh! Awesome. This whole thing was a mistake. 75 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,669 So maybe you can help us win the bar back. 76 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,380 Really? Why would I ever help you do anything? 77 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,923 All you've ever done… Stop. 78 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:38,093 All you've ever done is screw me over. Now I'm here to win back your bar. 79 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,887 - We're good though, right? - Go to hell. 80 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,555 Hey, do you want to partner up in this dance competition? 81 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,056 Stop touching me, Charlie. 82 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:47,227 Hello, jerks. Oh! Surprised to see me back? 83 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:50,230 Rickety Cricket. I suppose you're here to win the bar because we ruined your life. 84 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:54,067 Good guess. And I'm gonna win this bar with the help of my shiny new legs. 85 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,819 The latest leg brace technology 86 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,155 courtesy of the great state of Pennsylvania. 87 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,408 Hey. Maybe we should partner up, ruin their lives together. 88 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,993 Maybe we should. 89 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,037 - Jealous? - No. 90 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,830 - Let's go, Cricket. - It's Matthew. 91 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:07,998 Holy shit. 92 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,833 What's going on with Rickety Cricket's new legs? 93 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,127 - They look so sturdy. - He's, like, half machine. 94 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:15,255 He's got, like, a liquid hydraulic cooling system going on with that thing. 95 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,799 That's cheating, dude. He's gonna win with those things, man. 96 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,886 - It's like an exoskeleton. - It's exactly like an exoskeleton! 97 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,513 - We'll have to resort to foul play. - Yeah, yeah. 98 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,182 Look, there's no point in taking any chances. Let's get dirty. 99 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,851 Maybe he'll sweat so much he'll rust out those bionic legs. 100 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,603 I think we should just kick him in the dick! 101 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,523 Oh, God. What is that awful noise? 102 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,525 We got our first dance-off challenge! 103 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,861 I need Mac to collect his dignity and step to the center of this dance floor. 104 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,905 What? 105 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,657 We've only been dancing for two minutes. 106 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:42,908 Who's challenged me to a dance off? 107 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,630 Oh, shit. 108 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,716 All right, folks. Our two dancers have one song to strut… 109 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,260 Their stuff! 110 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:04,555 The loser will have to wear this 25-pound keg around his neck 111 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,849 - for the rest of the competition. - Talk about a ball and chain. 112 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,976 - I'm going through a messy divorce. - He ain't lying. 113 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:11,311 - He's not gonna go down easy. - No way, dude. 114 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,982 He's fueled by vengeance and reinforced with space-age technology. 115 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,942 And go! 116 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,319 My legs! 117 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:24,491 - The technology failed me! - He's fallen and he can't get up! 118 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,869 - I am stealing that line! - It's already yours! 119 00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:29,454 All right, folks. That's our first casualty of the night. 120 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,540 But stay tuned. There's plenty more where that came from. 121 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,208 Why don't we mix things up a little bit… 122 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,293 By slowing things down. 123 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,171 Everybody couple up and hit the dance floor. 124 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,047 Don't be afraid to get "sextra" close. 125 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:42,342 - Osmond close on Q102. - The Q Crew. 126 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,514 I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude. 127 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,434 Relax, dude. I forgot to put on deodorant. 128 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,186 - You gonna give me shit all day? - I have never once 129 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,770 seen you wear deodorant, Charlie. 130 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,772 You've never once seen me wash my testicles, 131 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,107 but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday. 132 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,984 And I swear to God you've got lice, man. 133 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,819 I see little bugs crawling all over your body. 134 00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:02,070 That's a man wearing glitter. 135 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,406 I tried to make myself look a little fancy for this dance competition. 136 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,616 Oh, Mr. Fancy Pants. 137 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,160 Excuse me. I'm just trying to have a good competition here. 138 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,912 I gotta get out of here. When is the partner switch? 139 00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,830 Ooh, you guys, this could be a great idea 140 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,208 to shake things up a little bit with the other contestants. 141 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,585 You know, use the partner switch to get inside people's heads. 142 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,129 Why is the person that's ranked last trying to hatch a plan? 143 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:22,257 - Yeah, I wonder that too. - I just came up with an idea though. 144 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,675 This could be a good opportunity 145 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,886 to shake things up with the other contestants. 146 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:29,640 We could use this partner switch to get into people's heads. 147 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,683 - Now you're talking! - Are you being serious? 148 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,060 Shut up, Dee. We're hatching a plan. 149 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,896 But we're gonna need a man on the outside. Frank, that's you. 150 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,148 Why? Because I'm old? That's bullshit! 151 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,150 No, dude. Because you're the best at scheming. 152 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,903 We need you on the outside running things. Take a knee. 153 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,531 - Kneel down. - Take a knee for the team, buddy. 154 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,741 Yeah, there you go! Yeah! 155 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,952 - Ooh! Another one bites the dust. - Q Crew! 156 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,663 We did just screw him over to kick him out of the contest, right? 157 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,915 - Absolutely, yeah. - What? 158 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,919 And by the way, Frank, when we get the bar back, you're ranked last! 159 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,672 You can't rank me last. I created the ranking system. 160 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,881 Well, then you shouldn't have dropped out of the 161 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,675 dance marathon, you old bitch. 162 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,927 You lousy bastards. 163 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,721 So who's next? Who's looking good out there? 164 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,850 That young couple over there looks pretty limber. We should take them out. 165 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,309 Okay, it's settled then. I'll take the girl. 166 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,270 I'm gonna dance with the waitress for a little while. 167 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,397 That's not gonna work. Mac, take the waitress. 168 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,315 You can tire her out with your spastic movement. 169 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,942 I'll tire her out with my awesome movements. 170 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:23,068 Yeah, whatever it is. 171 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,279 Get my blessings if ya bust lip then ya gonna get 172 00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:26,655 You should get into it more, Dee. 173 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:29,324 When you walk down the block and you start hear me talk, man, this… 174 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:36,957 Oh, this is great, Dee. I mean, this is so restful. 175 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,126 I'm really building up my reserves for later, you know? 176 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,252 Mmm, yeah. 177 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,045 I'm just really glad I can be of help, Charlie. 178 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,130 Thank you. 179 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,050 Mac and the waitress are getting pretty close. 180 00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,303 What's the matter? Can't keep up? 181 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:51,221 No, I can't understand why you're dancing like that. 182 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,806 I feel like you're gonna hit me. 183 00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,474 Just… Please don't hit me. 184 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,894 Good, good. Don't be afraid to get in real close, okay? 185 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:57,978 Okay. 186 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,147 How long have you been a dance instructor? 187 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,899 Oh, a long time. Years. 188 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,901 My fiance and I, we're not really dancers. 189 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,862 We just joined this competition because we both got laid off recently… 190 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,989 Right, right, okay. I'm gonna dip you down now, okay? 191 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,950 Just stick your knee into my groin, just like that. 192 00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,912 Grind your hips and pulse your thighs. Ready? Go. 193 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,916 What the hell are you doing? 194 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,168 - Relax, sweetie. He's an instructor. - Yeah. 195 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,003 He's showing me a new dance. What's it called again? 196 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,589 - The Rococo Bang. - Oh, that's funny. 197 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,799 - Isn't it? - Kind of looks like he's feeling you up. 198 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:30,093 I don't want to get in the middle of anything here, okay? 199 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,596 I'm just trying to teach your fiancee a new dance. It's pretty cool. 200 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,889 You don't want to deprive her of that, do you? 201 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:36,183 Honey, I think a little dance instruction might help us 202 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,392 last longer in the competition. 203 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,688 - All right. Just make it quick. - I'll make it quick. 204 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:45,859 All right now, Gloria, for this next part you're gonna want to grip my buttocks. 205 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:46,985 Okay. Like that? 206 00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:48,820 Right. Now we're gonna go down nice and low. 207 00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:54,201 Now grind and shift and around and push and feel and grip and grip. 208 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,744 - That's… Yeah. - Good. 209 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,374 - I'm over it anyway. - Are you? 210 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,794 So let's not worry about it. Let's just talk about other things for a little bit. 211 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,046 I'm glad you're over it, because he's definitely gonna bang her. 212 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,590 - He's gonna bang her? - Oh, come on! You're not over it! 213 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:10,676 Look, I gotta stop that. I can't let that go on. 214 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:14,429 You know what I think you gotta do? You gotta get Mac out of this competition. 215 00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,099 - Yes! Yes! I gotta get him out. - You gotta get rid of him. 216 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,893 - All right, how would I do that? - I got an idea. 217 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,438 They burned you, too, didn't they? 218 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,234 I know how it feels. 219 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,028 The pain, the hurt. 220 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:35,033 How about you and me, we join forces, and we make things right? 221 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,535 Get lost, street rat! 222 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,787 I'm not a street… I was a man of the cl… 223 00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:43,542 Look, I want these guys, Frank. I want 'em! 224 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,628 And I will stalk the streets and live in the shadows of the night 225 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,590 until the streets of Philadelphia run red with their blood! 226 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:52,134 - You got a lot of anger in you, kid. - You're damn right! 227 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,969 Are you in or you out? 228 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,471 - I'm in. - Yeah! 229 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:02,644 Whoo! Here he is. Hey, bro. What a competition, huh? 230 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,605 Saw you dancing with the waitress. 231 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:08,150 But I'm not jealous. I'm very impressed with your dance moves. 232 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,402 - Thank you, Charlie. Thank you. - Much better dancing than 233 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,487 - people give you credit for. - I've always thought that. 234 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:14,198 - That whole elbow thing… - You like the elbow thing? 235 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,159 Great! It's a very specifically choreographed… 236 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,203 - I'll show it to you one day. - I don't want to learn it. 237 00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,079 You probably couldn't pull it off anyway. 238 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,207 Hey, man. How do you feel about Dennis? 239 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,210 Dennis? Dennis has been driving me crazy. 240 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,213 I think… I feel like he's a little jealous. 241 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,297 And nervous. 242 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,675 Nervous that you're gonna be ranked number one when this whole thing goes down. 243 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:37,095 - You think so? - Absolutely! 244 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:40,015 First of all, you deserve to be ranked number one at the bar. 245 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,517 I mean, that's just a fact. 246 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,436 I think I do, dude. I think I deserve to be number one. 247 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:48,482 I've been working so hard for so many years. The cream always rises to the top. 248 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,900 And you're, like, made of cream, dude, 249 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,610 and your cream is all over his face, man. 250 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,946 - That pisses him off. - He hates that shit, dude. 251 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:56,573 I'm always putting my cream all over his face, and it pisses him off. 252 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:57,699 Oh, my God. 253 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,326 I think we need to take Dennis out. 254 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,578 - You think? - Yes! 255 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:04,748 - And there's only one way to do it. - What's that? 256 00:11:10,546 --> 00:11:13,340 - You don't want to do this, bro. - Oh, I think I do, buddy. 257 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,134 'Cause I got the moves that are gonna make me number one. 258 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,594 Why don't you just go with the best dancer? 259 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:20,889 Hit it. 260 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,850 That girl is poison 261 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:30,983 Never trust a big butt and a smile that girl is poison 262 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:32,943 Poison 263 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:40,576 If I were you I'd take precaution 264 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:44,246 Before I start to leave fly girl 265 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,331 Oh, God damn it! 266 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:50,043 Well, glad that's settled. I think I'm gonna go get in that chick's pants now. 267 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,212 I thought they were engaged, dude. 268 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:55,132 "Engaged." That's just a word. It doesn't mean anything. 269 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,217 It means they're getting married. 270 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,261 Married, engaged. They're just words, you know? 271 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,347 My parents were married and engaged once. You saw how that worked out. 272 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,849 All right. I'm gonna go bang that chick. 273 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,976 Enjoy wearing that keg for the rest of the competition. 274 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:07,978 Yeah. Yeah, that's good. 275 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,022 Looking a little stiff there, partner. 276 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,566 - Want me to give you a couple pointers? - That's okay. 277 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:15,611 - Come on, man. Let me show you some moves. - He's just trying to help. 278 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:18,155 - All right, fine. - Yeah? All right, here we go. 279 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,282 I'm gonna pretend like you're Gloria, okay? 280 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:24,369 Now, you're not nearly as beautiful as she is, but I can use my imagination. 281 00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:27,039 What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna teach you how 282 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,207 to dip her. That's really important. 283 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,418 I'm gonna put my arm around your waist just like that. Don't stop. Keep moving. 284 00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:32,836 We don't want you out of the competition, right? 285 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,921 No! 286 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,341 Then I'm gonna bend my knees and dip you down real low. 287 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,717 My goodness! What happened? You lost your grip? 288 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,054 - You dropped me on purpose, asshole! - Calm down, Robert. 289 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,805 It's perfectly natural to blame the teacher at first. 290 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,224 We're all feeling a little tired. 291 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,642 You son of a bitch! 292 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,685 Robert, stop. Come on. It was an accident. 293 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:51,313 Oh, come on! Let's get out of here, Gloria! 294 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,814 Wait a second, Robert. That's not a good idea. 295 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,234 Gloria, you've come this far. You don't want to stop now. 296 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:58,862 Wow. Butt out, man. This is none of your business. Now come on, honey! 297 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,365 Robert, we came here to win. We need this! 298 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,786 Wow. He's a violent guy. 299 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,955 I know. I hate it when he gets like that. 300 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,623 Gotta be careful with that one. 301 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,625 God damn it. 302 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,752 I feel your pain, Mac. 303 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,797 - We all do. - What the hell's going on out here? 304 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,258 - We're making brownies. - The drug-filled kind. 305 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:21,426 - Shut up, Cricket! - What's he talking about, Frank? 306 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:24,513 They're filled with sedatives. 307 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:28,350 You want to help me distribute them? I'll make you my number two. 308 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,477 You're not even in the contest any more, bro. 309 00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:31,645 I certainly am. 310 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,647 I have an inside horse. 311 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,191 You see this homeless gentleman? 312 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,193 He wins, I win. 313 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,237 Come on, Mac. Join our crew. 314 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,198 Shut up, you goddamn street rat! Keep working! 315 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,326 You are on your way out. 316 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:50,205 So you might as well go out with a bang and have some insurance. 317 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,000 Okay, I'm in. But I don't know how much longer I can last here, Frank. 318 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,293 This thing's killing my back. 319 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,044 I'll come up with a rig. 320 00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:58,881 - Definitely. - Shut up, street rat. 321 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:08,182 Wow. He's getting pretty close to that pretty girl, huh? 322 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,517 - Yeah. - You gotta make him jealous. 323 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:13,520 I don't want to make him jealous. I want to win your bar. 324 00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:14,605 Oh. Okay. 325 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,523 How do you think I could make him jealous? 326 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:19,193 I'll tell you exactly what you need to do. See that homeless guy? 327 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:22,029 - You gotta dance with him. - That doesn't make any sense. 328 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,447 It makes sense. You're tired. 329 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,782 I am, but I don't see how that makes sense. 330 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,535 - Okay, it's reverse psychology. - No, it's not. 331 00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:31,705 All right. You know what? I'm his sister. 332 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,291 I know him really well. I know him a lot better than you. 333 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,127 I'm telling you, the only way you're gonna be able to land Dennis 334 00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,254 is by making him feel he's lower on your list 335 00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:42,007 than a disgusting, filthy homeless guy. 336 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:50,349 - I'm gonna go grind a homeless guy. - Good girl. Make it dirty. 337 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:01,610 Oh, my God! She's really, like, grinding away over there! 338 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,738 Eat your heart out, Dennis Reynolds! 339 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,991 Hey. Hey, pretty lady? Look, can you do me a favor? 340 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,662 Can you prop your leg up and, like, grind on me all sexual-like? 341 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:14,915 Charlie's over there blowing up my spot with that girl. 342 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:18,919 - Oh, yeah. He is blowing up your spot. - I know. 343 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,463 Better make some moves to get her back, don't you think? 344 00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:24,758 I'm gonna make some moves like a ranked number two guy would. 345 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,511 - You're number two. - What's up, bitches? 346 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,888 Oh! Why are you dancing so strangely? 347 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:33,308 Because of all my energy. I got tons of energy now because of this. 348 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:37,271 - Energy bar. Have some. - Looks like a shit ball. 349 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,106 No! That's an energy bar! 350 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,524 Why is it so heavy and big? 351 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,109 Because it's filled with vitamins and shit. 352 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,570 Come on, guys. Just eat it and you'll have a burst of energy. Trust me. 353 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:47,656 Don't eat it, Dee! It's filled with cough medicine. 354 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,534 - I love you! - You traitor bastard! 355 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,369 Okay, that's it, Cricket. You're out of the crew. 356 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,620 You're my whole life. 357 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:55,873 I love you. I ain't going out without a fight! 358 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,541 Don't leave me in the sun, okay? I'll burn. 359 00:15:57,666 --> 00:16:00,544 You are in cahoots with those guys? 360 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,296 I'm not in cahoots with anybody! 361 00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,840 - You've been cahooting with them! - I have not been cahooting! 362 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:07,426 You're wearing Rickety Cricket's exoskeleton right now! 363 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,136 - I am not! - Yes, you are! 364 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:12,681 Okay! Okay! So I'm wearing it. 365 00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:15,475 - You are pathetic. - Oh, am I, Dee? 366 00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:16,935 Is this pathetic? 367 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,313 What are you doing, bro? 368 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,815 What, man? A man can't enjoy a sexual lady? 369 00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:23,567 Not when it's with my partner. I'm cutting in. 370 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,110 Get out of here! Back off! 371 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:27,029 - I need her, man! - Why do you need her? 372 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,530 I need her, all right? Just put it that way. 373 00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:31,617 All right, you know what? You leave me no choice, Charlie. 374 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,120 - Hey, asshole. - Whatever. Wanna dance? 375 00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:37,247 - Yes! - Good. There you go. 376 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,082 Good, good. Take a load off. 377 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,044 Let these strong, sweet, sexual arms hold you. 378 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:43,128 So strong. 379 00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,964 I gotcha. So strong. All right, night-night. 380 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,591 No! 381 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,551 You made me do that. 382 00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:50,969 - You piece of shit. - Yeah, maybe. 383 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,596 You piece of shit! 384 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,765 Dennis Reynolds, I trusted you! 385 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:55,849 Why? 386 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,976 You are the biggest piece of shit on the planet! 387 00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:01,188 That's it. I'm taking this one out. I'm going limp. 388 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:02,856 No, Charlie. Don't go limp. 389 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,526 - I got you, Gloria. - You're hurting me! 390 00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:09,071 - Charlie, don't do this. - He's trying to have sex with you. 391 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,407 - What? I'm not gonna have sex with you! - What do you mean? 392 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:14,409 I'm engaged! 393 00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:17,120 Engaged is just a word. It doesn't have any meaning. 394 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,289 - No, it's a very serious word. - Thank you! 395 00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:21,625 - I was getting somewhere, wasn't I? - No, you weren't. 396 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,752 - Really? - No! 397 00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,963 All right. Well, see you later. 398 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,885 You really are the biggest piece of shit on the planet. 399 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,471 You still talking to me? I thought you were out. 400 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:35,597 Dick! 401 00:17:35,681 --> 00:17:38,517 Don't worry, ma'am, 'cause I'm about to take this sucker out! 402 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,269 - You're gonna take me out? - You bet. 403 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:43,313 - How are you gonna do that? - This right here. DJ Fat Michael! 404 00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:44,439 - Yo! - Squirrely D? 405 00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:45,524 Oh, yeah! 406 00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,025 Please play my dance for a dance challenge. 407 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,610 That's a can-do, my brother. 408 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:52,531 Let me tell you a lesson. The cream always rises to the top. 409 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:55,784 And I'm about to show you the white-hot cream of an eighth-grade boy. 410 00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,661 Oh, my God. Play the tape. 411 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,044 You gotta be kidding me. 412 00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:13,719 Watching every motion 413 00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:17,764 In my foolish lovers game 414 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,478 On this endless ocean 415 00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:27,900 Finally lovers know no shame 416 00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,236 It was like a ballet. 417 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,072 How did he remember all that choreography? It was 20 years ago. 418 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,782 I don't know. It was beautiful, man. 419 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,952 - What's going on, monkeys? - Yeah. How are those kegs treating ya? 420 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:41,455 Pretty good. What you munching on, pal? 421 00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,957 Energy ball, courtesy of my partner here. 422 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:47,252 - You look pretty woozy there, buddy. - I'm feeling woozy… 423 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,339 What is it? Wait. What is up, man? I feel like I'm tripping. 424 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:53,425 Oh, Charlie, that might be the cough medicine. 425 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:57,054 You got about 15 minutes until you drop like a ton of bricks. 426 00:18:58,222 --> 00:19:00,015 Holy shit! Did you play me? 427 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,184 Oh, I played you. I played you good. 428 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,186 Maybe now you two jerks might want to start 429 00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:05,646 treating me with a little respect. 430 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,856 - Why would we show you respect? - Yeah, why? 431 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,150 Because I masterminded this entire situation. 432 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,613 Not only did I get Charlie to eat a drug-filled brownie, 433 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:17,241 I got everybody in here to do it. 434 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,409 Pretty soon, people are gonna be dropping like flies, 435 00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:21,912 and it's gonna be me and you two jerks. 436 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,581 Good luck with those kegs, boners. 437 00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:26,375 Bitch! 438 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:28,961 There is enough cough medicine in there to kill a gorilla. 439 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,713 If you keep eating it, you're not gonna last five minutes. 440 00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:34,800 Bro, I can handle my sedatives. 441 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:46,395 I cannot believe how long Charlie has lasted after eating that brownie. 442 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:50,232 Karate… Snow machine… Chop set… 443 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:53,861 - What's with the chopping? - I'm chopping all over my action. 444 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,988 And mostly power. 445 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:58,448 - He's lost his damn mind. - My back's killing me. 446 00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,284 You gotta break me off a piece of that exoskeleton. 447 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,535 It doesn't work that way. 448 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:03,620 You can't just break off a piece of an exoskeleton. 449 00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:05,247 Give me some of that liquid hydraulic shit! 450 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,331 No, man! Hey! 451 00:20:06,415 --> 00:20:07,583 It's a sensitive science! 452 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:09,751 Give me that technology! Don't use your elbows! 453 00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:12,337 Whoa! Whoa! Dennis, what are you doing? 454 00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:15,007 Oh, God damn it! 455 00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,593 - Oh! Double whammy! - Are you happy? Dee's gonna win. 456 00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,803 No. We still got Charlie. 457 00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:26,059 Don't worry about it. I got an inside horse. 458 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,936 Larry. That's my inside horse. 459 00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:30,606 - Larry! Stay awake! - Go, Larry! 460 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:34,526 He's staying up! Come on, Larry! You can do it! You can do it, Larry! 461 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,236 You feeling bad? That's too bad. 462 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,907 'Cause I'm just getting my second wind. Cricket! Now! 463 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:42,659 Here I come, Dee! I love you so much! 464 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:48,332 Oh, my God, my knee! Oh, my God! 465 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:51,251 Larry! You won the bar for us! 466 00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:53,879 Larry wins! Whoo! All right, Larry! 467 00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:55,881 I have a shattered kneecap! 468 00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,133 Dee, we can start again. Right? 469 00:20:58,217 --> 00:21:01,345 Never talk to me again, you goddamn street rat! 470 00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,848 Look on the bright side, Deandra. 471 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,643 At least you're not ranked last anymore. 472 00:21:07,726 --> 00:21:10,354 - Who's last now? - Charlie. 473 00:21:11,230 --> 00:21:14,024 That kid really needs to learn how to read.