WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.180 --> 00:00:02.510 - From west Hollywood, California 00:00:02.510 --> 00:00:04.660 the only news team that doesn't know what's 00:00:04.660 --> 00:00:07.050 on the teleprompter before they read it. 00:00:07.050 --> 00:00:10.070 Anyone who laughs or breaks, loses points. 00:00:10.070 --> 00:00:12.663 This is Breaking News. 00:00:14.660 --> 00:00:15.493 - Good evening. 00:00:15.493 --> 00:00:16.700 And welcome to breaking news. 00:00:16.700 --> 00:00:19.060 The show where we don't know what we're about to say 00:00:19.060 --> 00:00:21.330 and we're not allowed to smile or laugh. 00:00:21.330 --> 00:00:22.586 I'm Recently Separated. 00:00:22.586 --> 00:00:24.550 (anchors laugh) 00:00:24.550 --> 00:00:27.690 - And I am Ah-One-Ah Spicy Meat-Ah-Ball-Ah. 00:00:27.690 --> 00:00:30.580 - Our top story, who was the cutest cutie boy 00:00:30.580 --> 00:00:32.520 in the Backstreet boys? 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:34.493 Was it Lance Bass? 00:00:35.916 --> 00:00:38.980 Or was he in NSYNC actually? 00:00:38.980 --> 00:00:39.813 Or 00:00:39.813 --> 00:00:41.300 was it 00:00:41.300 --> 00:00:42.133 Nick Lachey? 00:00:43.295 --> 00:00:45.452 Or was he in 98 Degrees? 00:00:45.452 --> 00:00:46.285 (anchor laughs) 00:00:46.285 --> 00:00:50.980 Or was it another NSYNC, Justin Timberlake? 00:00:50.980 --> 00:00:53.330 Was it JC Chasez? 00:00:53.330 --> 00:00:54.770 Was it? 00:00:54.770 --> 00:00:57.120 Was it Lil Wayne or the Hot Boys? 00:00:57.120 --> 00:00:58.880 Was it Juvenile? 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:01.440 We don't know it might've been B-G. 00:01:01.440 --> 00:01:04.679 - Mi scusi Recently Separated, but did you know 00:01:04.679 --> 00:01:08.940 I was in the Italiano version of Backstreet Boys? 00:01:08.940 --> 00:01:09.790 - Really? 00:01:09.790 --> 00:01:10.656 - Vero. 00:01:10.656 --> 00:01:11.825 (anchor laughs) 00:01:11.825 --> 00:01:14.796 We were called the Back-Ah-Street Boys. 00:01:14.796 --> 00:01:16.600 (anchors laugh) 00:01:16.600 --> 00:01:18.590 - Wow. That's beautiful. 00:01:18.590 --> 00:01:20.036 What hit songs did you have? 00:01:20.036 --> 00:01:21.631 - Oh boy. 00:01:21.631 --> 00:01:25.690 Oh, we had the multo hit-o's. 00:01:25.690 --> 00:01:30.690 One hit was, "Hey Cheese, It's a Little Bit Different Here". 00:01:30.771 --> 00:01:32.240 (anchors laugh) 00:01:32.240 --> 00:01:37.240 The second one was sometimes a man will just touch you. 00:01:37.500 --> 00:01:38.333 - Whoa! 00:01:38.333 --> 00:01:40.963 - And the third one was, 00:01:42.067 --> 00:01:43.740 "Beautiful River, 00:01:43.740 --> 00:01:45.070 Beautiful Smile". 00:01:45.070 --> 00:01:47.240 - Oh, damn, I remember that one. 00:01:47.240 --> 00:01:48.073 - Oh really? 00:01:48.073 --> 00:01:49.706 - Yeah. Didn't they go like this? 00:01:49.706 --> 00:01:52.640 ♪ A beautiful river. ♪ 00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:54.402 Beautiful smile. 00:01:54.402 --> 00:01:57.910 Don't let a man just touch you. 00:01:57.910 --> 00:02:00.671 Sometimes it happens, but that don't mean it's right.♪ 00:02:00.671 --> 00:02:03.853 (anchor laughs) 00:02:03.853 --> 00:02:05.063 Oh, oh. 00:02:05.063 --> 00:02:06.280 (anchors laugh) 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:07.620 - Wow, muy bien. 00:02:07.620 --> 00:02:08.520 - Oh, 00:02:08.520 --> 00:02:10.008 oh, so beautiful. 00:02:10.008 --> 00:02:11.733 - Oh no. 00:02:13.235 --> 00:02:16.660 Sigourney? (anchors laugh) Recently Separated 00:02:16.660 --> 00:02:19.460 was Sigourney Weaver-ed 00:02:19.460 --> 00:02:20.850 what's a' wrong? 00:02:20.850 --> 00:02:22.570 - I'm sorry. This is so unprofessional. 00:02:22.570 --> 00:02:25.185 I'm just not dealing with the separation well. 00:02:25.185 --> 00:02:27.333 - Well, you know what we say in Italy? 00:02:29.430 --> 00:02:31.407 Everyone's polyamorous. 00:02:31.407 --> 00:02:33.750 (anchors laugh) 00:02:33.750 --> 00:02:36.320 - Wow. They say that in English. 00:02:36.320 --> 00:02:38.720 I just miss my partner so much. 00:02:38.720 --> 00:02:40.750 Everything reminds me of them. 00:02:43.970 --> 00:02:47.180 This microphone. This reminds me of them. 00:02:47.180 --> 00:02:51.360 'Cause they used to work here and 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:54.510 like that one time where they covered that story 00:02:54.510 --> 00:02:56.600 about the earthquake 00:02:56.600 --> 00:02:58.470 that set off 00:02:58.470 --> 00:03:02.470 the bank alarm systems, or turned them off. 00:03:02.470 --> 00:03:05.310 So people just started stealing the money 00:03:05.310 --> 00:03:07.690 from the banks, including the employee. 00:03:07.690 --> 00:03:08.841 That was a crazy story. 00:03:08.841 --> 00:03:09.674 - Mi scusi 00:03:09.674 --> 00:03:12.890 I'm getting important breaking news. 00:03:12.890 --> 00:03:15.770 Fortune the fortune teller's here. 00:03:15.770 --> 00:03:16.603 - That's right. 00:03:16.603 --> 00:03:18.830 It's me, Fortune the fortune teller. 00:03:18.830 --> 00:03:21.210 - Welcome. Now, you famously 00:03:21.210 --> 00:03:23.100 don't use tarot cards to tell fortunes. 00:03:23.100 --> 00:03:23.933 Is that correct? 00:03:23.933 --> 00:03:25.180 - You're absolutely right. 00:03:25.180 --> 00:03:27.160 I use (laughs) 00:03:28.870 --> 00:03:30.290 this 00:03:30.290 --> 00:03:31.540 - Ah 00:03:32.550 --> 00:03:36.583 - Now I'll give you both full one minute long readings. 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:38.973 Okay. 00:03:40.930 --> 00:03:43.126 Italian person. 00:03:43.126 --> 00:03:45.947 (anchors laugh) 00:03:45.947 --> 00:03:48.280 I don't remember your names. 00:03:49.887 --> 00:03:52.950 If you can see, I picked it up upright and that means 00:03:52.950 --> 00:03:56.583 that it's pointing to the sky and the heat is to the right. 00:03:56.583 --> 00:04:00.133 That means you're in hot water. 00:04:00.133 --> 00:04:01.420 (anchor gasps) 00:04:01.420 --> 00:04:02.253 - Oh no. 00:04:02.253 --> 00:04:04.875 - Yeah. You're in trouble actually (laughs). 00:04:04.875 --> 00:04:07.560 Someone's coming for you. 00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:08.737 It might be a man. 00:04:08.737 --> 00:04:09.570 - What? 00:04:09.570 --> 00:04:10.403 (anchors laugh) 00:04:10.403 --> 00:04:12.752 - A man is going to try to touch you real soon. 00:04:12.752 --> 00:04:15.390 - A man is gonna touch my hips while trying 00:04:15.390 --> 00:04:17.280 to cross behind me at a bar? 00:04:17.280 --> 00:04:18.120 - Oh no! 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:19.168 - Oh no! 00:04:19.168 --> 00:04:21.433 (anchor laughs) 00:04:21.433 --> 00:04:24.550 - And, and Backstreet, Backstreet guy (laughs). 00:04:24.550 --> 00:04:26.784 I don't know your name either. 00:04:26.784 --> 00:04:28.248 - Recently Separated. 00:04:28.248 --> 00:04:31.540 - Oh yeah, you're Recently Separated. 00:04:31.540 --> 00:04:35.540 It's so crazy that your name corresponds to your position 00:04:35.540 --> 00:04:36.437 in life. 00:04:36.437 --> 00:04:37.713 (anchor laughs) 00:04:37.713 --> 00:04:41.800 But speaking of positions in life, this, this iron is 00:04:43.800 --> 00:04:46.840 how much I earn 00:04:46.840 --> 00:04:47.783 for a living. 00:04:48.750 --> 00:04:50.363 - So what does that have to do with 00:04:50.363 --> 00:04:52.483 (anchors laugh) 00:04:52.483 --> 00:04:56.550 - I earn a little bit more than you actually 00:04:56.550 --> 00:04:58.108 but it's mainly 'cause I'm in the field. 00:04:58.108 --> 00:04:59.427 - Oh okay. 00:04:59.427 --> 00:05:01.040 - And I'm telling your fortune. 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:03.958 Anyway, you're not gonna earn as much as me this year. 00:05:03.958 --> 00:05:05.550 (anchor laughs) 00:05:05.550 --> 00:05:06.844 I think that's a minute. 00:05:06.844 --> 00:05:08.560 (anchor laughs) 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:11.993 - Wow. I'm starting to feel like my old self again. 00:05:11.993 --> 00:05:13.428 Thanks, Fortune. 00:05:13.428 --> 00:05:15.720 - And God bless you both. 00:05:15.720 --> 00:05:16.812 - Well, that was nice. 00:05:16.812 --> 00:05:17.645 (anchor laughs) 00:05:17.645 --> 00:05:21.290 - I actually asked someone else-a to come on today. 00:05:21.290 --> 00:05:22.480 - You did? Who? 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:25.670 - Famous fashion makeover person David "Dave" Olsen. 00:05:25.670 --> 00:05:29.100 Father of Mary Kate, Ashley and Elizabeth Olsen. 00:05:29.100 --> 00:05:32.330 - Hello everyone, it's me, David "Dave" Olsen. 00:05:32.330 --> 00:05:33.820 I heard you're going through a breakup. 00:05:33.820 --> 00:05:34.836 - It's true. I am. 00:05:34.836 --> 00:05:38.521 - Well, what I always tell my girls, Mary Kate, Ashley 00:05:38.521 --> 00:05:41.680 and Elizabeth, is the best way to get over a breakup 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:43.390 is a glow up! 00:05:43.390 --> 00:05:46.483 I want you to pick up the sexiest thing in arm's reach. 00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:51.350 - Oh no. 00:05:51.350 --> 00:05:54.800 - Now what's so sexy about that? 00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:58.680 - This is well, obviously it's a selfie stick 00:05:59.784 --> 00:06:01.760 and a tripod. 00:06:01.760 --> 00:06:06.660 And it's sexy 'cause it's got three legs. 00:06:06.660 --> 00:06:08.563 The legs are the sexiest part. 00:06:08.563 --> 00:06:09.396 (anchor laughs) 00:06:09.396 --> 00:06:11.660 So the more that that you got, 00:06:11.660 --> 00:06:15.030 the more the sexiness you are 00:06:15.030 --> 00:06:18.165 and the head expands. 00:06:18.165 --> 00:06:18.998 - Whoa, 00:06:19.870 --> 00:06:20.900 saucy. 00:06:20.900 --> 00:06:21.910 I love that for you. 00:06:21.910 --> 00:06:24.333 But, is it sexier than these two things? 00:06:25.210 --> 00:06:26.680 Huh? 00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:27.513 And 00:06:28.970 --> 00:06:30.050 huh? 00:06:30.050 --> 00:06:31.630 Ooh. 00:06:31.630 --> 00:06:32.958 - What the hell is that? 00:06:32.958 --> 00:06:33.800 (anchor laughs) 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:35.803 - It's a sponge baby. 00:06:35.803 --> 00:06:36.636 (anchor laughs) 00:06:36.636 --> 00:06:38.521 These are so hot because see this 00:06:38.521 --> 00:06:41.920 you can rub slowly, rub your lover's back. 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:44.004 Especially when they're super dirty. 00:06:44.004 --> 00:06:45.161 (anchor laughs) 00:06:45.161 --> 00:06:46.870 It's both relaxing and cleansing. 00:06:46.870 --> 00:06:49.920 And this now what's more intimate than picking your toenails 00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:51.820 in front of someone? What's sexier? 00:06:51.820 --> 00:06:53.620 You're bending down. 00:06:53.620 --> 00:06:55.070 Things are hanging out. 00:06:55.070 --> 00:06:56.733 You're on the ground maybe. 00:06:56.733 --> 00:06:57.566 (anchor laughs) 00:06:57.566 --> 00:06:59.106 things are flying. 00:06:59.106 --> 00:06:59.939 (anchors laugh) 00:06:59.939 --> 00:07:03.485 - This is the smells of toenails is honestly, 00:07:03.485 --> 00:07:04.870 an aphrodisiac. 00:07:04.870 --> 00:07:07.041 - Mmm. Maybe you're right. 00:07:07.041 --> 00:07:09.500 (anchors laugh) 00:07:09.500 --> 00:07:10.450 - I am. 00:07:10.450 --> 00:07:11.700 All you need is a little fun. 00:07:11.700 --> 00:07:14.043 And the little flirting I'll show you how. 00:07:14.890 --> 00:07:16.700 Woof, my God. 00:07:16.700 --> 00:07:19.480 Two beautiful suits you two are wearing 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:21.110 Ooh la la. 00:07:21.110 --> 00:07:22.663 Now let me ask you this. 00:07:24.490 --> 00:07:29.490 Do you two have the cutest cheeks or am I just on drugs? 00:07:29.512 --> 00:07:30.710 (anchors laugh) 00:07:30.710 --> 00:07:31.870 I may be seeing things. 00:07:31.870 --> 00:07:34.682 - I like that I knew you were flirting by the "oh la la". 00:07:34.682 --> 00:07:36.360 (anchors laugh) 00:07:36.360 --> 00:07:37.333 - Oh la la. 00:07:38.300 --> 00:07:40.890 Anyways. What are you two doing later? 00:07:40.890 --> 00:07:43.992 Anyone want to go to the malt shop and get some drinks? 00:07:43.992 --> 00:07:44.992 - The malt... 00:07:44.992 --> 00:07:46.490 - The malt shop? (laughs). 00:07:46.490 --> 00:07:47.537 - I'll pay for them. 00:07:47.537 --> 00:07:50.960 (anchor laughs) 00:07:50.960 --> 00:07:52.401 - Mama Mia. 00:07:52.401 --> 00:07:53.440 (anchor laughs) 00:07:53.440 --> 00:07:55.473 Mama Mia. The malt shop! 00:07:55.473 --> 00:07:57.498 - No, no. Don't fall for that. 00:07:57.498 --> 00:07:58.331 (anchor laughs) 00:07:58.331 --> 00:08:01.500 - Well I have to go spend time with my famous daughters now. 00:08:01.500 --> 00:08:03.707 I love being a father (laughs). 00:08:06.200 --> 00:08:08.440 - That's all the time we have for the day. 00:08:08.440 --> 00:08:11.860 But before we go we'll tell you that this week's loser is 00:08:12.740 --> 00:08:14.574 Allie! 00:08:14.574 --> 00:08:17.160 - (laughs) ---- you! 00:08:17.160 --> 00:08:19.040 Hosp-italiano. 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:21.359 (anchors laugh)