WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.180 --> 00:00:02.530 - [Announcer] From West Hollywood, California, 2 00:00:02.530 --> 00:00:03.550 the only news team 3 00:00:03.550 --> 00:00:05.680 that doesn't know what's on the teleprompter 4 00:00:05.680 --> 00:00:07.060 before they read it. 5 00:00:07.060 --> 00:00:10.060 Anyone who laughs, or breaks, loses points. 6 00:00:10.060 --> 00:00:11.869 This is Breaking News! 7 00:00:11.869 --> 00:00:14.634 (bright music) 8 00:00:14.634 --> 00:00:16.565 - Hello and welcome to Breaking News! 9 00:00:16.565 --> 00:00:19.370 The show where we have no idea what we're about to say 10 00:00:19.370 --> 00:00:22.070 and we're not allowed to smile or laugh. 11 00:00:22.070 --> 00:00:24.060 I'm June Bloom. 12 00:00:24.060 --> 00:00:25.935 - And I'm Carl Candy. 13 00:00:25.935 --> 00:00:27.899 I live in a house made of sugar. 14 00:00:27.899 --> 00:00:29.920 (Tao laughing) 15 00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:31.350 - Well, it's official. 16 00:00:31.350 --> 00:00:34.030 The Galleria is getting a Spaghetti Shack. 17 00:00:34.030 --> 00:00:35.259 - Oh my, oh my! 18 00:00:35.259 --> 00:00:37.170 - Oh my, indeed! 19 00:00:37.170 --> 00:00:39.850 The popular chain of sit-down Italian restaurants 20 00:00:39.850 --> 00:00:42.330 is opening its first location in town. 21 00:00:42.330 --> 00:00:44.062 I, for one, couldn't be happier. 22 00:00:44.062 --> 00:00:45.747 I'm nuts for noodles! 23 00:00:45.747 --> 00:00:47.690 - Ha, ha! I'll bet! 24 00:00:47.690 --> 00:00:49.070 - Slurp. 25 00:00:49.070 --> 00:00:50.180 Slurp. 26 00:00:50.180 --> 00:00:54.410 That's me with noodles, tomato sauce, Alfredo sauce-- 27 00:00:54.410 --> 00:00:55.243 - Pesto? 28 00:00:55.243 --> 00:00:56.690 - I don't know what that is. 29 00:00:56.690 --> 00:00:57.750 - I'm surprised. 30 00:00:57.750 --> 00:00:59.200 - I eat linguine. 31 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:00.830 I eat penne. 32 00:01:00.830 --> 00:01:03.220 Ravioli? Papa, gimme more! 33 00:01:03.220 --> 00:01:04.740 Slurp, slurp, dummies! 34 00:01:04.740 --> 00:01:06.380 All day and night. 35 00:01:06.380 --> 00:01:07.360 - Not me. 36 00:01:07.360 --> 00:01:09.290 I'm known for my sweet tooth. 37 00:01:09.290 --> 00:01:11.688 That's why I changed my name from Francis Peach 38 00:01:11.688 --> 00:01:15.217 to Carl Candy and my coat is made of licorice. 39 00:01:15.217 --> 00:01:17.980 The Spaghetti Shack features hot wine 40 00:01:17.980 --> 00:01:19.890 and very limited breadsticks. 41 00:01:19.890 --> 00:01:22.470 It opens on a Tuesday for some reason. 42 00:01:22.470 --> 00:01:25.640 - Wha, uh oh! Now I'm thinking pasta 43 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:27.290 and I'm down a hole. 44 00:01:27.290 --> 00:01:29.610 I'll grate cheese right into my trash mouth, 45 00:01:29.610 --> 00:01:32.182 that's how much I love the hot p. 46 00:01:32.182 --> 00:01:35.220 (slurps loudly) 47 00:01:35.220 --> 00:01:36.483 That's me! 48 00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:41.436 - We've got full team coverage 49 00:01:41.436 --> 00:01:44.081 of this mid-sized restaurant opening in the vicinity. 50 00:01:44.081 --> 00:01:47.710 Let's go now to Lamey Adams, who is at the mall. 51 00:01:47.710 --> 00:01:49.580 Lamey, what are you learning? 52 00:01:49.580 --> 00:01:50.980 - Carl, I've got to tell you 53 00:01:50.980 --> 00:01:53.200 the atmosphere of the Galleria is electric 54 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:55.130 as people wait to get their big bellies 55 00:01:55.130 --> 00:01:56.084 filled with Italian. 56 00:01:56.084 --> 00:01:59.120 One woman told me about her first experience with olives 57 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:01.183 and she was so happy she started to cry. 58 00:02:01.183 --> 00:02:05.710 Another had composed a song about marinara. 59 00:02:05.710 --> 00:02:08.160 - Oh, that sounds nice. 60 00:02:08.160 --> 00:02:10.900 Would you sing a little bit of it, Lamey? 61 00:02:10.900 --> 00:02:11.890 - Of course, June. 62 00:02:11.890 --> 00:02:12.940 I'll start singing the song 63 00:02:12.940 --> 00:02:15.297 exactly as it was written right now. 64 00:02:15.297 --> 00:02:16.593 "Um, Ma-Mia. 65 00:02:17.650 --> 00:02:18.973 "Marinara. 66 00:02:20.637 --> 00:02:23.593 "Tomato cook a long time." 67 00:02:26.028 --> 00:02:28.340 That was just a small part of that song. 68 00:02:28.340 --> 00:02:31.170 The rest of it would infringe on copyrights. 69 00:02:31.170 --> 00:02:33.640 - [Carl] Your voice is beautiful, Lamey! 70 00:02:33.640 --> 00:02:34.950 Keep singing! 71 00:02:34.950 --> 00:02:36.740 Keep singing. 72 00:02:36.740 --> 00:02:38.827 - Okay, hope the lawyers are good! 73 00:02:38.827 --> 00:02:40.877 "Ooh! Soak it long, 74 00:02:40.877 --> 00:02:42.461 "and cook it down 75 00:02:42.461 --> 00:02:45.696 "and boil it down til it's thick 76 00:02:45.696 --> 00:02:49.536 "and put it on the pizza! 77 00:02:49.536 --> 00:02:52.657 "Put it on the pasta! 78 00:02:52.657 --> 00:02:53.927 "Swirl it around! 79 00:02:53.927 --> 00:02:57.287 "Make sure you get the spaghetti water!" 80 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:01.860 - The premise of this show is that things are written down 81 00:03:02.760 --> 00:03:05.350 and when they're not written down, it gets way funnier. 82 00:03:05.350 --> 00:03:07.810 Beautiful! Beautiful! 83 00:03:07.810 --> 00:03:08.720 - I met the chef 84 00:03:08.720 --> 00:03:11.050 and he's too tall to be good at his job, sadly. 85 00:03:11.050 --> 00:03:12.019 Back to you in the studio. 86 00:03:12.019 --> 00:03:13.395 - Thanks, Lamey. 87 00:03:13.395 --> 00:03:16.936 Tropical storm Goose still has us in its sights. 88 00:03:16.936 --> 00:03:18.630 - Scary stuff. 89 00:03:18.630 --> 00:03:21.080 All that rain will melt my sugar house. 90 00:03:21.080 --> 00:03:24.420 I have a chimney made of peppermints and a nougat furnace. 91 00:03:24.420 --> 00:03:26.230 I'm quite mad. 92 00:03:26.230 --> 00:03:28.860 - You could use that water to make pasta, though. 93 00:03:28.860 --> 00:03:30.660 I'm lickin' my chops over here! 94 00:03:30.660 --> 00:03:31.493 All of them! 95 00:03:31.493 --> 00:03:32.840 For more of the storm, 96 00:03:32.840 --> 00:03:35.240 here's Rickey Nudes. 97 00:03:35.240 --> 00:03:36.200 - Thanks. 98 00:03:36.200 --> 00:03:38.835 Well, tropical storm Goose is expected to make landfall 99 00:03:38.835 --> 00:03:40.320 in the next 72 hours. 100 00:03:40.320 --> 00:03:42.493 The storm, of course, is named for Susan Goose, 101 00:03:42.493 --> 00:03:45.875 a goose named Susan, who wears rain boots. 102 00:03:45.875 --> 00:03:47.920 Susan Goose lives in Ontario 103 00:03:47.920 --> 00:03:49.670 and she flies south for the winter. 104 00:03:49.670 --> 00:03:53.090 She's a laid back attitude that she attributes 105 00:03:53.090 --> 00:03:54.584 to her medical marijuana. 106 00:03:54.584 --> 00:03:56.940 Her husband, Bruce Goose, 107 00:03:56.940 --> 00:03:58.690 wishes she'd quit smoking so much, 108 00:03:58.690 --> 00:04:00.140 but Susan is an adult goose, 109 00:04:00.140 --> 00:04:01.730 and she gets to make up her own mind, 110 00:04:01.730 --> 00:04:03.680 and Bruce loves her, flaws and all. 111 00:04:03.680 --> 00:04:05.377 They have a very mature relationship. 112 00:04:05.377 --> 00:04:06.670 They're both geese. 113 00:04:06.670 --> 00:04:08.887 Sometimes Susan wears an AC/DC T-shirt. 114 00:04:08.887 --> 00:04:10.960 She's worried about her retirement savings. 115 00:04:10.960 --> 00:04:12.087 She's a water bird. 116 00:04:12.087 --> 00:04:14.600 This is a real goose we're talking about, 117 00:04:14.600 --> 00:04:16.250 not a human named Susan Goose. 118 00:04:16.250 --> 00:04:17.210 She's tall for a goose. 119 00:04:17.210 --> 00:04:18.385 She hates scary movies. 120 00:04:18.385 --> 00:04:20.350 She has a patch of grey in her feathers. 121 00:04:20.350 --> 00:04:21.410 She's always quacking. 122 00:04:21.410 --> 00:04:22.243 What a goose! 123 00:04:22.243 --> 00:04:24.430 She has no idea why a tropical storm 124 00:04:24.430 --> 00:04:25.640 would be named after her. 125 00:04:25.640 --> 00:04:26.850 When I reached out for a comment, 126 00:04:26.850 --> 00:04:29.267 an official from the National Weather Service told me, 127 00:04:29.267 --> 00:04:31.530 "Your facts are wrong, the storm is named Diane." 128 00:04:31.530 --> 00:04:33.150 Back to you, June. 129 00:04:33.150 --> 00:04:34.081 - Thanks, Ricky. 130 00:04:34.081 --> 00:04:35.159 - Thank you, Ricky. 131 00:04:35.159 --> 00:04:38.341 Diabetes isn't real. 132 00:04:38.341 --> 00:04:39.174 - Wow. 133 00:04:40.170 --> 00:04:42.604 - That's all for us, but on a personal note, 134 00:04:42.604 --> 00:04:45.125 this week's loser 135 00:04:45.125 --> 00:04:48.331 is a two-way tie between Kimia and Tao! 136 00:04:48.331 --> 00:04:50.770 Congratulations to them! 137 00:04:50.770 --> 00:04:52.140 Have a lovely night, everyone! 138 00:04:52.140 --> 00:04:53.867 - I'm Ricky Nudes. 139 00:04:53.867 --> 00:04:55.750 Send nudes. 140 00:04:55.750 --> 00:04:57.240 - Wow, a tie! 141 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:58.190 First ever! - Fun!